Cambodia Overview

Cambodia is stunning. Every street corner is scattered with beggars and pan handlers yet I have never felt so much hope in one place. The children are quieter than in Vietnam, only a soft smile here and there, but their smiles speak novels. When the Khmer Rouge came to Cambodia and killed around 2 million people, they wiped out about a third of the entire population, and almost an entire generation of people. You can still see the struggle to rebuild from such a huge genocidal attack ending less than thirty years ago. But you also see the hope that these people have that they can rebuild. The people here are so beautiful with light chocolate skin and huge, dark eyes. Their pain makes me ache every time I am reminded of the true horrors they have witnessed. Seeing the skulls of the women and children killed, walking over piles of clothing once worn by the victims, seeing the tips of their bones extending up from the weeds; these are the images that will never leave my memory.

Day 10

April 3, 2008

Today I woke up to a stunning sunrise over the pool. I am completely emotionally exhausted from the last few days, so I asked Nancy if I could take it kind of easy. Melissa, Van and I went to the Russian market and got a few last minute gifts first. Next we asked our driver if he would bring us to a really good fruit stand and we spent 3 dollars buying a kilo of Rambutans, about 20 bananas, 4 mangoes, and 4 apples.

We went back to the hotel and changed into our bathing suits and for the rest of the day we layed by the pool eating fresh fruit and resting. It was unbearably hot, but the pool was just right so we were in and out of the pool every 5 minutes or so.

That night Van, Melissa, Julie, and I all went back to the FCC for our final meal. It was really fun to just talk and share what we were thinking about the past couple weeks. It was also very sad, because I fell in love with Cambodia and even thinking about leaving was heartbreaking. Then we all went back to the hotel to pack and get in bed.

Day 9

April 2, 2008

The Genocide Museum was more horrifying then I could have expected. The museums and memorials here are much different than the ones in the US that I have seen. We walked through the prison rooms still containing the wrought iron beds with shackles attached and metal boxes rotted and rusted through from being used for human waste. Blood still visible under the beds made it hard to keep down my food. We walked through rooms of thousands and thousands of black and white portraits taken of the prisoners upon their arrival to S. 21. The children were as young as 3 years old. There were pictures of the bodies burned to death in their beds, the children hung from the gallows. The preservation techniques in Cambodia are not very successful because almost all of the pictures were fading and rotting in the sun. Also, visitors had defaced many of the pictures and wrote their opinions across the walls. It was a much different experience than what I have experienced in US Memorials.

Before becoming a prison for the Khmer Rouge or Pol Pot regime, S. 21 was a high school. The irony was unbearable to know that most of the people being executed were killed because they had an education. We saw mass prison cells which 30 people were herded into and locked to iron bars and were not allowed to move. We were able to read what the rules were for the prisoners while in the Tuol Sleng Prison (S. 21):
1. You must answer accordingly to my questions. Do not turn them away.
2. Do not try to hide the facts by making pretexts of this and that. You are strictly prohibited to contest me.
3. Do not be a fool for you are a chap who dares to thwart the revolution.
4. You must immediately answer my questions without taking time to reflect.
5. Do not tell me either about your immoralities or the revolution.
6. While getting lashes and electrification you must not cry at all.
7. Do nothing. Sit still and wait for my orders. If there is no order keep quiet. When I ask you to do something, you must do it right away without protesting.
8. Do not make pretexts about Kampuchea Krom in order to hide your jaw of traitor.
9. If you do not follow all the above rules, you shall get many lashes of electrical wire.
10. If you disobey any point of my regulations you shall get either ten lashes or five shocks of electric discharge.

There were around 14,000 prisoners in this prison alone. Less than a dozen survived. It was hard for me to show my emotions or even feel them. And it was hard to talk as well about what I was witnessing, it was not until about 9 pm that I was able to process it and truly feel it. The lack of respect for life was what hit me the hardest.

After the museum we went to lunch and then to Tropical Oasis, where we got massages, manicures, or pedicures from the girls from White Lotus. We then traveled to the outskirts of town to visit the girl that Nancy’s family supports. We walked into their small house which was very dark and had virtually no furniture. What we had learned about this girl before coming was that last year when Nancy came to visit her, she had just been kicked out of her house by her mother who was being beaten by the stepfather. Her mother told her she could no longer attend school and was to become a prostitute in order to bring money to the family. She wanted to move in with her 20 year old sister but her sister did not have the money to support her. Nancy and her husband pooled money from all of the people in the group and came up with the exact amount that was needed for her sister to take her. When we saw her today, she was living with her sister and was doing very well. Although everything was going much better for her, her tears were present for the entire visit. Through a translator she explained to us that everyday she tells herself that although her mother doesn’t love her and chose her stepfather over her family, at least God loves her. It was heartbreaking to watch her silently crying, she looked so defeated. But we began to play Quack Diddly Oso with them and in no time were all laughing hysterically and talking to each other even though we couldn’t understand.

Day 8

April 1, 2008

This morning we woke up and went to the National Museum. Although beautiful and filled with Buddhist and cultural statues and although I captured some of my most beautiful pictures yet, it was not where we were supposed to go. We intended to go to the Genocide Museum before going to the killing fields. Our driver, who is still working on his English didn't quite understand but 'm glad we went. Afterwards we still went to the Killing Fields, and it hit me in a place I didn’t know was vulnerable. The first image we saw was a huge, tall glass structure filled to the top with the skulls of victims executed in the fields. The bottom was full of their clothing. As I stood with my forehead against the glass I felt something in my stomach tighten, making it hard to breathe. The tears came faster than I expected and I found myself unable to take my eyes off of the place where their eyes once were. I couldn’t keep from imagining them in their final days, knowing that they didn’t have much time left. How would they feel now, having their skulls and clothing on display? Having people walk across their bones for years afterwards. I tore my eyes away, knowing my group was ready to move on. As we walked, our driver showed us the mass graves of hundreds of people separated by age and gender. From above the graves looked only like big holes with weeds growing and a few bones, but hidden where we could not see were hundreds of bones thrown together so carelessly. There was a tree for hanging the victims who were too loud. Another tree for beating the young children. Their clothes were still scattered along the ground and their bones were peeking above the flowers everywhere that we walked. When we left I took a breath and realized I had been holding my breath for a long time. Every muscle in my body wanted just to sit with these people and comfort them. I wanted to pay my respects to them and show them that it had all changed for the better. It was hard for me to leave.

After we left we went to Nancy’s presentation on Domestic Violence. When we arrived everyone was standing around looking worried and I realized that the power was out, therefore the air conditioning was not working. After about ten minutes in the uncomfortable heat we figured out another facility to relocate to. Hearing Nancy speak to a group was much different from our normal everyday talking. It was wonderful to hear her story and realize how deeply she cares and knows about the subject. Once it was over we all went out to dinner and during dinner their was a small storm. Their was cracking thunder and lightning and the warmest rain I have ever felt. All I wanted to do was dance in it and cover myself with it; I guess I am more homesick then I thought. Once back at the hotel we began to make gifts for the speakers who will tell us their stories tomorrow. The speakers are women who escaped from the Khmer Rouge and became refuges in the US and elsewhere. They have since returned to help their people and want to tell us their stories. In the morning we are planning to go to the Genocide Museum, so I know that tomorrow will be emotionally very heavy for me.

Day 7

March 31, 2008

This morning we woke up and went to Sherry and Debby’s house. The heat was intensifying every minute and I could feel myself getting irritated in the van on the way. When we arrived we were given a tour of the house. Right now they have 21 girls living in their facilities and these girls spend their days going to literacy classes, sewing classes, cooking classed, and dance classed. Also, they make cards, candles, and bracelets to be sold to the public. The cards were beautifully made and tugged at my heart so I bought 5 myself and the other girls with me bought a few as well. Afterwards we went to the White Lotus house. It is a huge building with 2 floors consisting of bedrooms, a kitchen, a small salon to teach the girls cosmetics, and bathrooms. One of the girls living there had a little baby girl named Easter, who basically had 21 mothers and was the mascot of the house.

We then went to lunch at a Western restaurant and met with a girl named Christa, who was a student of Nancy’s. She told us of a story of a 14 year old girl who had come forward against a Russian billionaire, accusing him of raping her 4 times. He got 13 years in jail and another 18 girls have since come forward. It was one of the first times that a young girl had ever won a case against someone so powerful and it has been making national news. Hearing her story inspired me and gave me a good example of what I can do if I ever come back to live and work here. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080314/wl_asia_afp/cambodiarussiacrimepaedophilia)

We met up with the girls from White Lotus later in the day to take them to go swimming for their first time. Because the culture requires women be modest in dress we had to swim in pants and t-shirts. Seeing the joy on the girls faces made us all completely forget about the horrors they have been subjected to. They splashed around and grabbed a hold of us; afraid of the water and what it might do to them. Melissa began to give swimming lessons to a few of the girls and not long after, they all wanted to learn. We realized just how hard it is to teach across a language barrier so huge. About 5 minutes after we had gotten in the pool, one of the staff members came to talk to Sherry. She told her that the girls had to leave at 3 because they were having a party later. At this point it was about 2:55, so Sherry said no. They negotiated until they agreed to let us stay until 4. After we left I learned that Sherry and Debby stayed, making sure that there really was a party. They soon realized that it was a lie; and that they were only being asked to leave because they were Khami people. It was heartbreaking for Sherry and Debby to see their wonderful girls being shunned and excluded because of their race and color.

After swimming we went out to dinner at the FCC (Foreign Correspondence Club) where foreign writers come to relax and eat and write their stories. It was a really fun environment and it was full of people from every continent in the world. As we were leaving to go back to the hotel there was a strong gust of wind and a lot of rain and the power went out. They came back on a few minutes later but it was kind of fun. Then we took a tuk-tuk home to the hotel.

Day 6

March 30, 2008

Today we arrived in Cambodia. Driving down the street from the airport to the hotel I tried to see what the main differences there were between Vietnam and Cambodia. Phnom Penh’s buildings are more spread out and a lot shorter, so it seemed quite a bit calmer. The colors were less intrusive and the people darker. It is less humid but overall it is hotter here. When we got to the hotel we were shocked by how majestic and fancy it was compared to the hotels we had stayed at in Vietnam. Those hotels seemed like 5 star hotels but The Cambodiana is incredible. We were also shocked and disturbed by the exchange of an aggressive white tourist and a submissive Cambodian prostitute right in our hotel lobby. When we got to our rooms and were able to discuss what we had seen, Nancy told a story that made me sick to my stomach. The first time she came to Cambodia, she requested that the hotel she would stay at not encourage and support prostitution. The Cambodiana, the nicest hotel in the city, was the only one. When she arrived here she wanted to get a neck massage. They took her down to a dark room underneath the pool area that she said was filthy and full of women sitting on bleachers wearing red undergarments. When they asked her to lie on a small and very dirty bed for the massage she said no and told them she wanted to sit in a chair. So they took her to a large room and as they opened the door she was taken aback to see rows and rows of reclining chairs, full of white tourists wearing nothing but open robes with women at their feet. After seeing what was happening to these girls right below the rooms she went to the management and complained. The next day when she went down to see the room, it was completely empty and the women were now dressed in navy blue suits. Now the hotel is on strict watch to make sure trafficking is not happening. Unfortunately, street prostitution sometimes gets by the staff because it is on a much smaller scale.

After we got to process what we had witnessed we went to our separate rooms. I switched rooms and now am rooming with a girl named Melissa. We immediately started talking and talked for a few hours before dinner time. We went to dinner at a restaurant called Java and it was the most familiar food I have had since being on this trip (pesto pasta with chicken.) We had dinner with Sherry and Debby, friends of Nancy’s who started an NGO called White Lotus in Cambodia that gives residency to girls who have experienced trafficking, prostitution, or any kind or threat of sexual abuse. After dinner we were all exhausted and went to bed.

Day 5

March 29, 2008

This morning we returned to the convent for a small celebration. The girls that we had been working with for the past few days had prepared a dance and a few songs for us to thank us. It was really sweet how much work they put into preparing the little party for us. They gave us each individual presents as well, the girls got handmade fans and the boys got chopsticks. They were so sad to see us go and it was really hard knowing we wouldn't be seeing them again for at least a year, and that's only for those who are coming back next year.

After the girls did their presentations for us, we had the chance to go to the medical clinic that was started by Sister Bong. We were shown into the waiting room where about 30 people were waiting with various medical problems. We were shown the pharmacy and learned it was only a couple dollars a month for someone to get all of the medication that they need-both over the counter and prescription. We were shown into the dentist's offices, the acupuncturist, and the herbal medicine doctor's office. After we got back to the hotel we were able to either take a bicycle ride or to stay at the hotel. I got down to the lobby a few minutes late for the bike ride so I went back to my room and took a little nap and watched part of a movie. It was actually exactly what I needed to get my energy back.

Then we headed to the airport once again to head back to Ho Chi Minh city for one last night together. When we arrived it was already around dinner time so the younger group which consisted of Ben, Melissa, Nathan, Blair, and Nathan who are all around 24 and Julie and I went to Pho 24 for dinner. It was nice to finally get to know each other outside of the intense schedule we had been following.

Day 4

March 28, 2008

Today we started out our day by visiting Sister Bong's convent again. We worked some more with the girls and we let them ask us questions. It was really fun to switch from teacher/student mode into friend mode and be able to have conversations with them. We were there for about 3 hours in the morning and then we had to leave. We all had lunch at the hotel or slept for an hour before we were to leave on a day trip to a hill tribe about 2 hours from Hue. On the way there I had an oppurtunity to finally process what I had been seeing and hearing and smelling. I also was able to listen to my iPod for awhile which was suprisingly healing for me. I hadn't realized how much I had missed my music and I had forgotten how important music is for me to be able to think about things. When we arrived at the hill tribe, which was actually just a few houses on the side of the Ho Chi Minh trail, I felt more prepared to continue my experience. The houses that we were able to visit were minimal and literally falling apart. It was heartbreaking to witness. The children were very timid probably because they haven't been exposed to foreigners very often if ever. Their eyes were mezmorizing though and although we didn't speak the same language it was easy to see that they were hurting. On they way back from the hill tribe we went to a school for the blind funded and run by Sister Bong's convent. A blind man sang us a song and played the guitar for us and it was beautiful. Then we drove the 2 hours back to our hotel, had dinner, and went to sleep fully exhausted.

Day 3, part 2

March 27, 2008 9 pm

After we had lunch our group, Nancy, Julie, Van and I, decided we wanted to take cyclo rides around the city. They were only 4 dollars for an hour tour of the city so we thought it would be really great. Just in that 1 hour I probably took around a hundred pictures. We were taken into the forbidden city and the citadel and through the streets. We saw so many children selling products with their families on the streets. The streets are lined with communist flags. It was really nice to see Vietnam from the eyes of a tourist, because I knew that it would be my only chance because of our busy schedule.

Day 3

March 27, 2008 12:30 pm

We just returned from Sister Bongs convent a few minutes from our hotel. The convent is beautiful and lush. Within the convent there are residential houses and a preschool, too. We worked with the aspirants, who are in the process of becoming nuns of the convent, with their English skills. First we sang songs with them, which they loved and then we broke into small groups to work on conversational skills. Mikaila and I took our group of 6 girls out into the garden to teach them some of the names of items we saw. They showed us around the convent and we saw little puppies running all around and a pig pen and a Coi Pond. They also have a pet monkey who I fell in love with instantaneously. I held his hand for a long time and wanted to take him home with me. After we were shown around the convent we played games with them and they were so appreciative of our help and small talk. We will be returning tomorrow to continue working with them.